Summer 2014: The Moment I Lost Myself By: Rachel Durham
Smelling the fresh aroma of flowers and root beer trees. I see familiar faces: Ramsys, Jordan, Jewel, Justice, etc. We hugged many times and the smiles on their face makes my face even happier. I sit down beside the rest of my friends in my group with a counselor. My legend has lived on since the first year I came to Camp Weber Directed by the YMCA of Greater Springfield.
Like I can’t remember when a bully went up to a little girl and I stood up to them. More of the kids who saw me, gathered behind me as well as teens to signal the bully. I was superior. From then on I was known as Rachel the Beast. It wasn’t at all the name I would of wanted people to call me but it catches on. The stories people made of me consisted of me defeating a monstrous bear with a cyclops eyeball. It was amazing how many people tried to do the same.
Being an awesome friend as well as being a role model for others I loved it, but every hero has a fear right? Well I wasn’t scared of bugs as much as I was last year. I was afraid of. . .swimming in the pool, because I couldn’t swim the first year I was here. It was hard, but during after school hours I would take swimming lessons just in case there’s some reason I would have to swim to land, as my father said. It was a matter of life or death between the water and my body on the day we had the swim test. The fear that built inside my body, the sensation to hide in the locker room and cry, because I wasn’t brave enough to try. I kept going to the back of the line with peer pressure all around me, building like a wall, because of my lack of swimming ability. It was my time to swim in front of the ghostly audience, with the fear filling my body like “a horror movie when they say, “Don’t open the door or you’ll die type of feeling”. Once I jumped in I felt relieved that the hero everyone heard about, she wasn’t afraid of even her greatest fear.
“Hey Rachel, wait up for me!” Ramsys said up the road hill near the lunch table areas. He was one of my best friends, especially since he was the only one who stood up for me and helped me up when I was hurt. Our bond was very tight, with him by my side I felt I could do anything. There was a time he told me while we were eating he had a crush on this girl, but since he was the shy one in our pair he didn’t know how to approach her. I asked him what her name was, but he refused to tell me who she was. Later, I found out the girl he liked, who he couldn’t talk to, it was me. The sensation of peer pressure on me to either accept or reject was hard, so I handled it my way not to talk to him anymore or text him. It got annoying to run away from him so I stopped.
Lunch is okay at my summer camp, except on tuna sandwich day. Well for me, it’s one of the best times because many are either allergic and give them to me. I kinda get an allergic reaction to the sandwich, but it taste so gooooooooooooooood. I finally talked to Ramsys and we sorted everything out. I love this camp and that’s why I’m a hero and a AWESOME friend to everyone even the ones who dislike me.
But there’s one reason why I’m rude to others now than before. An unspeakable, unimaginable moment shocked my feelings, triggering my emotions like nothing other. The last week of summer camp, it happened. I’m wish not tell anyone because if I do, I might not know how it would affect you or me. The role model and hero everybody thought I was, was now a unloving, colosso monster destroying everything in its pathway. That beautiful sunshine was a sky of darkness ready to strike at any moment. Lunch was a time no one was happy about, not even me. Lunch and any other activity was just a waste of time. The people who were in it understood and hung out with me anyway. I became nice again. Even though things got better, that event is still in my heart and will never be erased.
This is how my legend lived on since the first year of that summer camp. I would like to keep my darkside a hidden secret to all that’s new. I was a role model, hero, and devious monster all in one summer.
Like I can’t remember when a bully went up to a little girl and I stood up to them. More of the kids who saw me, gathered behind me as well as teens to signal the bully. I was superior. From then on I was known as Rachel the Beast. It wasn’t at all the name I would of wanted people to call me but it catches on. The stories people made of me consisted of me defeating a monstrous bear with a cyclops eyeball. It was amazing how many people tried to do the same.
Being an awesome friend as well as being a role model for others I loved it, but every hero has a fear right? Well I wasn’t scared of bugs as much as I was last year. I was afraid of. . .swimming in the pool, because I couldn’t swim the first year I was here. It was hard, but during after school hours I would take swimming lessons just in case there’s some reason I would have to swim to land, as my father said. It was a matter of life or death between the water and my body on the day we had the swim test. The fear that built inside my body, the sensation to hide in the locker room and cry, because I wasn’t brave enough to try. I kept going to the back of the line with peer pressure all around me, building like a wall, because of my lack of swimming ability. It was my time to swim in front of the ghostly audience, with the fear filling my body like “a horror movie when they say, “Don’t open the door or you’ll die type of feeling”. Once I jumped in I felt relieved that the hero everyone heard about, she wasn’t afraid of even her greatest fear.
“Hey Rachel, wait up for me!” Ramsys said up the road hill near the lunch table areas. He was one of my best friends, especially since he was the only one who stood up for me and helped me up when I was hurt. Our bond was very tight, with him by my side I felt I could do anything. There was a time he told me while we were eating he had a crush on this girl, but since he was the shy one in our pair he didn’t know how to approach her. I asked him what her name was, but he refused to tell me who she was. Later, I found out the girl he liked, who he couldn’t talk to, it was me. The sensation of peer pressure on me to either accept or reject was hard, so I handled it my way not to talk to him anymore or text him. It got annoying to run away from him so I stopped.
Lunch is okay at my summer camp, except on tuna sandwich day. Well for me, it’s one of the best times because many are either allergic and give them to me. I kinda get an allergic reaction to the sandwich, but it taste so gooooooooooooooood. I finally talked to Ramsys and we sorted everything out. I love this camp and that’s why I’m a hero and a AWESOME friend to everyone even the ones who dislike me.
But there’s one reason why I’m rude to others now than before. An unspeakable, unimaginable moment shocked my feelings, triggering my emotions like nothing other. The last week of summer camp, it happened. I’m wish not tell anyone because if I do, I might not know how it would affect you or me. The role model and hero everybody thought I was, was now a unloving, colosso monster destroying everything in its pathway. That beautiful sunshine was a sky of darkness ready to strike at any moment. Lunch was a time no one was happy about, not even me. Lunch and any other activity was just a waste of time. The people who were in it understood and hung out with me anyway. I became nice again. Even though things got better, that event is still in my heart and will never be erased.
This is how my legend lived on since the first year of that summer camp. I would like to keep my darkside a hidden secret to all that’s new. I was a role model, hero, and devious monster all in one summer.